Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Pink Chair"



My mom loved the color Pink..she thought eventually that it would be my favorite color. So far she has been very wrong on that front. When I think of my mom she really was the color "pink"! She loved beauty in all forms(besides us kids tattoos/piercings)art,people,she loved soft materials and loved things that made her feel beautiful.
Growing up there would be many times when my Mom and I would talk or sometimes just sit and I would listen to her and Steve sing and play the piano..I miss those moments and I know now that I would have still taken off just as quickly to be at the next big thing in my very important life as a teen (:
This chair is no longer with me since I know that I can't keep those memories by keeping that chair. It has sat in my entry next to my mom's entry table,curio cabinet and her dining room table that I refinished. In the next room I had her end table and Piano...I just felt that all of a sudden I lived in a weird zone.
What I mean is that I felt over a year ago that there was no way I could let these items go. For heaven sakes I had some good chats with my mom..So I thought of course that I would sit in her chair and I would love feeling a bit closer to her. Well, honestly I felt nothing of the sorts! More than anything it has been painful to walk those stairs every day and know that these items really don't belong. It's like that sesame street game which one of these things don't belong. Well, I have learned a valuable lesson..Things can never replace No matter how hard we to try those moments or even those feelings we once had.
So,just this morning I got rid of some of my mothers stuff. That's right I just called it stuff because that is what it is. I feel a bit naked without them but I know that for me to continue it is the right thing to do. So,I have let go of the once so comforting chair and those blasted tables that I dusted for my whole freaking life!! Mom once again you taught me another lesson..I truly can move forward without losing my moments and thoughts of you!! Love you momma;)

3 comments:

  1. that must have been tough woody but i think you're right, your heart is where your mom is. :) we love you!

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  2. you are an inspiration...♥ Love you Girl!! ♥

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  3. Beautiful You are brave. I have a niece that won't let go of her mother's stuff and you are right. It is stuff and not part of your mom unless you let it take over your life. Your mom would want you to build new memories with your family and enjoy every minute even though you will always remember and miss her.
    I still miss my mom after 23 years and you always will, but it does not hurt as much.
    Continue to be brave. Love you!

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