Birthdays

Well, one more down and hopefully at least 33 more to go! What a crazy time of year it is for myself and my family. Life doesn't ever slow down and if it did I am not so sure what I would do with myself. Besides take a well deserved nap! Well, this year was pretty full of surprises since my hubby threw a fabulous party that I really had no clue about.
On my actual birthday I got to watch my son clobber another team in Little league and then continue on and take an overall second place in the Pinewood Derby. My family growing up was pretty hardcore since my brothers always were in 1st and 2nd place. So, to watch my boy lose two rounds back to back where a bit heartbreaking for me. He really is such a good kid and I know at times that I am way to hash or hard on the boy. At the end of each day though I know that I must be doing something right since well in my eyes he is quite the best. As a parent it is hard to watch your kids struggle with anything and at times it is so overwhelming to watch. I still am at amazed at my parents to know that they must have been devastated at times with choices I made.
As, I entered my birthday it was a bit chaotic with the fact we lost a very special person in our lives. I can't claim that she is mine but I would like to think that she sorta is. Aunties always have a special place in all our lives! So, make sure you let those specail ladies know that you love them.
I also thought that this year might not be so hard to not have my own mama call me at midnight to wish me Happy Birthday and to be the very first one too. I miss those moments of pure craziness from my mom. You see she was quite the proper lady the complete opposite of me in every way. I really wish that she could be here so I could share those moments of pure chaos in my own life. I know that wherever she is now it is better than when she was here in pain. I really do miss her that sometimes my heartaches for days at a time and I just feel like shutting everyone out. Those are the days that I feel a bit bitter for not having her around. I honestly just found a rhythm with her in my life and to now have that disrupted sucks. I know that I just keep going and soon I will find a new beat but come one..
Mom, I miss you and so wish you were here just so I could really tell you all that I can't tell anyone else. Cause simply no one else can listen as well or still love me as much after wards. Please lord make the ache go away..