Broken

Wow, is all I can say at the moment..I am grateful for the fact it's just a broken collarbone and not something much worse. Yes, it's crappy and yes, I have shed a few tears over the fact she is broken again. I worry about her because she is so full of life and truly has no fear except occasionally at night with bad dreams. These bad dreams I can shoo away with a mamma is here baby girl and it's all better. With a bone busted again I have to wait and be patient not only with the healing process but with her. I don't think that many really realize how independent and fiery of a Bear she really is. She earned her name and it suits her very well.
I am amazed at her ability to pick herself up and to be a very brave 4 yr old. She never stays down for long and her ability to make you feel comforted in her time of need is quite humbling.
I have realized that being broken isn't just physical but also, spiritual and emotional too. Today is probably the first day and I hate to admit this, but that I actually took more than 20 minutes to just be still. I was on the verge of tears of not only guilt, anger, sadness and just feeling sorry for myself and Bear. When I realized I was broken somewhere within my soul and heart. The agony of this comes and goes quickly because if I sit still then it consumes me. Really, we are all broken somehow or someway..It's what we choose to do with this brokenness. Do we sit and let it consume us to the point that we no longer see the rainbows and fairy tales in the world. Or do we say bring it and keep bringing it, because I will kick some serious trash! I was talking with my family and I am amazed at the strength that our parents had with us. I am humbled by the community of well wishes and hugs that I received today. All the messages and cokes and goodies too. I am going to say that I have a wonderful friend who has touched the hearts and soul of this house. She came over and just let me have my moment that only a mom could fix. I believe strongly that everyone we meet has a time and place in our lives. Today was a day that I needed my mom and low and behold I got one. Moms are wonderful and so are grandmothers, no matter how someone becomes family they are still family.
So, even if we have a broken Bear she's truly not broken anything about her fiery spirit! She has taught me today that it only can get better and that it's okay mamma I love you. Life doesn't get better than I love you's!!
Bring it on nothing I can't handle well at least for the next few moments ...